Halloween Costumes and Suicide Bombers

What do Halloween costumes and suicide bombers have in common? Simple, some Halloween costumes are so embarrassing that it’s the only job you will ever get after being seen in public. So, we suggest you think long and hard before making the same mistake as other people who chose to wear the following ridiculously humiliating outfits. We still don’t understand why they did it unless someone put a gun to their head.

Wolverine

Yes, Wolverine in Hugh Jackman’s rendition is incredibly hot but the blue and yellow Halloween costume which is based on the cartoon is not. With bright blue boots that look like you just got off a ski lift, a bright yellow and blue one-piece with fake abs and a ridiculous yellow and black mask with little pointy ears, your only salvation is that maybe some people may not recognize you. Remember, Hugh Jackman yes, blue and yellow dweeb no.

Banana

Why anyone would want to dress up as a human size bright yellow fruit is beyond even the greatest minds in the world. Dressing up as a human banana is definitely not a good idea if you ever want to show your face in public again and will definitely not win you any brownie points with the girls. In fact some may think you are overcompensating for deficiencies in other departments.

He-Man

If going around in furry underpants and matching boots is your thing we have nothing against it, especially if you have the body to match, even if it is a rather odd choice. However, carrot colored wigs are definitely not something you should want to be seen in public with. If you really want to show off those pecs, next time try dressing up as a Chippendale. It will be cheaper and no one will wonder whether you have even started puberty yet.

Elvis

No, we have nothing against the King, in fact, we adore him. However we have a big thing against men who wear Elvis outfits that are sporting beer bellies larger than a nine month pregnant women and whose Halloween costumes are so tight they cause camel toe. Think about it, male camel toe, not something you want to see.

The walking vagina

Yes, we understand the male fascination with female genitalia, but do you really have to wear one from head to toe? This outfit takes the cake for most humiliating outfit and we can guarantee that anyone who decides to sport one will be avoided like the plague. Who wants to be seen talking to a vagina?

There are many more embarrassing Halloween costumes out there but these are just a few of the ones that caught our eye and nearly blinded us. If you do go on a hunt for embarrassing Halloween costumes we suggest wearing protective eye gear at the very least. In some cases even that may not be enough.

10 Sheepish Videos

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been referred to amongst my friends as the goat lover.  It isn’t that I actually find goats sexually attractive, but more so that I find them to be absolutely hilarious creatures.

Until recently, I was all about the goats, and gave no other animal the time of day when it came to being funny.  This all changed today when I spent a good hour going through all the absolutely hilarious sheep videos on youtube.  Sheeps burp, fart, poop on camera, but the funniest part about sheep is that they think they are bad ass tough guys.  I’ve got a blend of sheep burping, to  sheep humping to straight up sheep tough guy’ism.  So turn up your speakers, and sit back and enjoy the hilarity that ensues within these funny sheep videos.

Sheep Vs Swing set

It is no secret that inanimate objects are very tough.  A few examples are concrete barriers when you are driving, fights with telephone polls and apparently swing sets when you are a sheep.

50 Sheep Vs Rottweiler

I’m not sure who the idiot was who let his rottweiler dog in to play with these sheep, but one thing is certain and that is there is serious power in numbers.  I don’t care if your dog is a black belt in jiujitsu, 50 sheep are going to kick his ass.

Burping Sheep

Bodily functions are always good times…. ’nuff said.

Incestuous Goat Fornication

Besides the fact that watching animals hump is generally pretty funny all on its own, this video is especially hilarious because apparently the humpee is the dad and the humper is his kid.  Yea, that’s right, I posted sheep incest.

Sheep Vs Soldier

Turns out Afghan people aren’t the only ones unafraid of American soldiers. Watch as these sheep attempt to take on the United States of America in a newly declared war!

Falling on Deaf Ears

Something tells me that one of these sheep are ’special’.  Somebody needs to give this little fella a hearing aid, because there is absolutely no reason he needs to be screaming!

Sheep Vs Dog

When it comes to feeding time, we all know that dogs think they are pretty effing tough; go near their food and they will bite your ass. Well, ever seen what happens when you piss off a feeding sheep? Watch this video to find out!

Bighorn Sheep Vs Toyota 4runner

Nobody said that sheep were smart creatures, but who in their right mind would attack a Toyota 4runner with their head of all things.  It might have been best for the evolution of sheep kind if the guy driving the truck just ran the sheep over and turned him into a nice pair of tall sheepskin boots!.

Bonus Material:

I decided to throw in a little bonus material if my real life sheep material wasn’t enough for you.  I’ve got two more clips, so don’t put that popcorn away yet folks!

Sheeps Vs Cows

A classic commercial where a flock of sheep take on a flock of cows Braveheart style!

Black Sheep

Ever wanted to watch a horror movie starring evil black sheep? Well wait no longer, the movie Black Sheep is waiting for you at your local Blockbuster.  Go pick it up and let it scare the living poop out of you!

6 Things the Japanese Could do with Whales Instead of Eating Them

Whaling in Japanese culture is not frowned upon in the slightest, so animal rights activists are always plotting and scheming new ways to piss the Japanese off by telling them not to do it. Instead of telling them “no”, we think we should let the Japanese know what else they could do with those big ass whales.

1. Whale Racing

(Image)

If you’ve seen the classic movie Ben-Hur you may remember the scene where they race in chariots pulled by horses. So, why not create something fun to do with the whales? Driving around on a boat chariot hauled by a trained whale would be incredibly eco-friendly. Not to mention fun, up until your whale is targeted by a school of pissed off sharks. By attaching a large leash to the whale (in a safe, humane way, of course) you could harness the power of the beast fueled on smaller fish. Just feed your whale and you should be good. Off to the races!

2. Whale Watching

(Image)

Yes, there is an extreme difference in the adrenaline pumping sport of whale racing when compared to whale watching, but hell - not everyone is completely capable of hanging onto that watery bronco. Whale watching can actually be kind of soothing, as you listen in on their calls of “kill anything that looks like a boat”. Yeah, it’s kind of a sleeper sport, but you might see some crazy underwater battles (but the likelihood of that is about a 3% chance, I’m guessing). For Victoria whale watching, you can see some fat Orcas. Personally, they were cooler when they were known as “killer whales”.

3. Become “Whale Whisperers”

(Image)

A more safe, and perhaps lucrative business alternative to slaughtering whales would be turning those big mothers into pets. Everyone knows pets have problems. That’s why there are specialists that can “talk some sense into your pet”, and if Dogs are a big part of people’s problems, then I’m sure whales would be quite cumbersome. Forget scratched furniture and chewed up shoes, good luck trying to ever have another bath in your apartment. If Cesar Millan can bank his life fortune on the insecurities of human beings interacting with their dogs, think about how many people would fail at raising a whale!

4. Whale Tweets

(Image)

Whales usually talk a bunch when they’re swimming around. They also eat a lot. So why not let researchers and the internet itself know when a whale eats, swims around in circles, or farts? Hook up a twitter account and that whale is guaranteed to not be turned into some delicious sushi. Figuratively known as the “Fail Whale“, these tweeting whales would provide entertainment for the world.

5. Fancy Whale Fashions

(Image)

Alright this may be stretching it a bit, but if dogs can get sweet goggles, and if cats can get fake fingernails and “people” clothes, and horses getting shoes… it just makes sense that whales should look good. Maybe some shorts or hats to kick it off. Whale fashion shows could be held on giant slip and slides and end up back in the ocean. Only problem is the whales might be a little pissed off when scuba divers go down to remove the fashion garments for re-sale. You ever tried fighting an Orca for his fedora? Didn’t think so.

6. Using Blowholes for (Balloon) Inflation

(Image)

In a pinch, a whale could just breathe and inflate balloons. Simply load a whale into a dunk tank and hook balloons up to that sucker. A hit at birthday parties, and generally awesome - this could be the next big thing in whale innovation. Also, I know what you’re all thinking when I said “use their blowholes”. Shame on you.

Origin of the Swine Flu

We all know that the Avian Flu originated from people sucking faces with chickens.  That is no secret; so why is it some big secret where the Swine Flu came from?

Since this blog is called ‘This Piggy’ and a Swine is a pig, I think its only fair to assume that the Swine Flu came from getting down and dirty with a filthy little bacon producing swine. If you are unfamiliar with the Swine Flu it is an STD (Swine Transmitted Disease) epidemic that is sweeping Mexico and unfortunately finding its way back to North America.

I have some pretty clear cut proof of people sucking face with pigs. If you want to know who to blame for the epidemic we no longer have to hunt for evidence as This Piggy brought it to your attention first!

Low and behold nine  ‘potential’ origins of the Swine Flu.

Exhibit #9
I would point the finger at this lady, but it looks like this pig has already been cooked.  She is off the hook this time.

Exhibit #8
Again, this pig seems to be lacking most of his body.  Unless he is festering at the neck, chances are this woman is clean as well

Exhibit #7
I’m not 100% sure what part of the pig you need to suck to get the Swine Flu, but if it is the ear, this woman could definitely be the culprit.

Exhibit #6
The woman promised this guy she’d take his virginity if he kissed the Pig.  The jokes on her if he caught the Swine flu before they did it!

Exhibit #5
This man/woman actually appears to be doing a good deed.  To the best of my guessing ability it appears as though he/she is giving mouth to mouth resuscitation to this piggy.  Next time he’ll/she’ll use protection!

Exhibit #4
Ladies, just because something is cute as a button doesn’t mean it can’t give you diseases.  Just because somebody is good looking doesn’t mean they don’t have STD’S (Swine Transmitted Diseases)

Exhibit #3
Alcohol lowers our judgment, but just because an oversized pig is spooning you while you drool half conscious on the floor does not mean you should make out with him.

Exhibit #2
Sure, this pig may look lonely, he may look cute, but there is a reason he is in that cage woman! STDs are running wild in the pig world, don’t let it do you!

Exhibit #1
This poor kid never had a chance.  This Pig stalked this baby for hours.  Hey little kiddie, do you want a lollipop, just come over to my blue van… I mean… my cage.  Next thing you know the baby is sucking the sweet sweet snot of the pig snout.  Poor kid, he never had a chance.

Not enough for you? Go check out some pig lips @ Blaahb

21 Cats in a Box

I am a proud owner of a pussy, as a matter of fact I own two.  Now ladies, before you get your panties in a bunch, I’m referring to the feline variety, not the kind you tie up in your basement.

It seems like any foreign object that makes its way into my house becomes a new bed for my four legged feline friends. Each cat will take turns sitting on my Visa bill, car insurance, bubble wrap but most of all, my cats love to find their way into boxes. For some reason they avoid cat food packaging like the plague.

If a box, even a half full box is left anywhere in my house I can be certain that my missing cats are probably slumbering in some incredibly awkward position within this box.

Can you blame them? I like box just as much as the next guy! The following are 21 pictures of cats that have found their way into some sort of box. (I’ve saved the best for last so make sure you scroll all the way down!)